A sad few months

Hey people,

How is everyone? I hope doing well and chasing your dreams.

I have had a number of people I care about tremendously leave this life through various means. And all within a couple of months. This has taken a toll on me. I basically quit doing anything.

I tried Camp Nano in July and won with a paltry 2000 words. Much of which I struggled for. I was so disappointed in myself, which only made things worse. I quit studying. Quit drawing.

It took a talk with a good friend to basically get my ass in gear. I started to WANT to write again, but still had issues with the words. Then, I figured I would start on a short story. Nothing at all to do with my angels and demons. And what do you know. I broke through. The words are coming again.

I have since, as of today, signed up for Nano this year. I was actually considering skipping it. But one of my friends, actually the first one to pass, would have kicked my ass if he knew that I quit writing because of him. So, Will, this Nano is for you.

We hit speedbumps. Gates come down and block us. But all we can to is keep going. Keep pushing. Eventually, the way will clear and we can move on. Keep chasing dreams!

A Bit of Everything.

Hey!
Long time no see!
Terrible sorry about that. It's been... crazy here.

Also, I have been thinking. I don't always have a lot to say about writing. Hell, with the way things have gone, I haven't even written that much. So, I am going to make this blog about other things as well. Starting with a new obsession.

The Korean language. I have been studying Japanese for a little over a year now, and I feel ...fairly... comfortable with starting a new language. That is of course, subject to change. Though I am nowhere near ready to start a blog on it. So far, I have learned the Hangul (Korean alphabet) and a few words. I can read the Hangul okay... ish. Speaking it is the hard part. Almost the direct opposite of Japanese.

I would also like to get back into drawing. I was kinda teaching myself by watching tutorials and by other peoples drawings, and have come to the realization that I might want to take a class.

This is one of my drawing of another drawing... That's not confusing...

This is another.

I love drawing. 

I want to start painting... More than I have, I should say. I've done some abstract watercolors, but I want to practice with acrylics before moving to oil. I have more hobbies that what is good for a person, only because there are not enough hours in the day to do them all. But hey, this is Chasing Dreams, is it not?

Now, go chase your own! 

Mata ne! (Japanese for see you later!)

Getting Serious About Having Fun

Hello!

Yep, it my random blog post time. I swear I am going to try to do better. I just get... distracted. And I did again.

But, I am going to try to start posting weekly. As opposed to weakly.

This is where I am. Forbidden: Lost is about ready for the world. I finished the back cover stuff and am about to email it off to my cover designer. I figure it should be done in about a week. While waiting for the final cover, I will be going over the formatting and making sure it is ready to go. Once I am happy, and have it formatted, it will be available. I am thrilled to be this close.

And this is the final cover to Lost

I have Forbidden: Redemption ready for beta-reading and I need to start work on the back cover info for it as well. Just as a warning, I am not the best at back cover stuff. Once I have comments back for it, I should be able to set a date for it's release.

Forbidden: Addicted.
This one I am having issues with. I need to make it longer. Give the relationship more time to develop. My problem is, I love the story just the way it is. It flows smoothly and I just love it. But then, I wrote it. I am biased, lol. I can also make the ending a bit longer. It kinda cuts off abruptly. Pretty easy fix. But this is the book I am working on now.

After I get Addicted ready for the great wide open, I am going to go back to a couple of stories I haven't touched in a while. They are a part of my 'Year of Finishing Things". Books that I left off writing when the approach of my first Nano. They deserve my help reaching their potential, and it has always been a niggle in the back of my brain that I didn't get them finished. Well, that will change soon enough :) Stones will have it's day. As will The Game He Plays.

Symphony and Symphony 2 will also see the light of day this year. As will Heart of the Sun. So many babies to give my love to. I love writing.

Well, back to it then!
Bye!

It was a fun Camp

Hey!

As you can tell by the title, my camp is finished. I had set a goal of 50K words, which, in editing speak, is 50 hours of editing. I hit 50K, validated, and instead of drinking champagne, I kept editing.  I hit 60K and now I am pushing for 70K. I think I can do it. But wow... 70 hours of editing in a month... I know I can do it!

I have to. I have momentum and I need to use it. Because I despise editing. Damn it, Jim, I'm a writer, not a doctor. And it's true. I can write forever, but of all the worlds I create, and characters I fall in love with, and the conflict my devious mind can come up with, none of it is perfect. My writings need a doctor's healing touch (read editor).

And it's not easy. Not the admitting that my first draft is not perfect. I swallowed that pride a long time ago. But I know what I meant with that incomplete thought. I know who is talking in a string of dialogue that I don't tag, I know whose head I am in at any given moment in the story. I mean to use sentence fragments as a stylistic choice, to deliver more punch.

So it makes it difficult to read back over and make changes. Editing does not come easy for me. Which is why I left so many things untouched for so long. And now it is coming back to bite me in the ass.

Beta readers are a good thing to have, but all of my beta readers are also writers, busy with things of their own. What is a writer to do? Let you work sit and look at it with fresh eyes. But how long is too long to let something ferment? When does your novel become less like wine and more like... something gross?

I ask this because I am having trouble getting back into my first Nano novel. I miss my elves and dwarves. I miss that world. But as I am trying to edit it now, I am having troubles getting back into that world.
I really wanted this book to be finished by now. I wrote it for Nano 14. I will make it... somehow. Because I am proud of that book, even though it's hard getting back to it.

Maybe it's because my angels and demons won't leave me alone.

My camp this April was/is finishing Lost. Done. It is in the hands of a beta right now, getting what is hopefully its last read-through. I SOMEHOW managed to get Redemption ready for a beta. And I WANTED to move on to Heart of the Sun, but... nope. I am working on Addicted.

Maybe it's the amount of work HotS requires... Most of the book doesn't even have chapters... The love it needs is daunting, to say the least. It will happen one day...

Camp Nano. Goals for the month and beyond.

So, Camp Nano starts in less than 11 hours. I am both thrilled and terrified.

But it's the same every time I start something with Nano, lol. But I have such high expectations this time. And I am not getting any younger. The name of this blog is called Chasing Dreams for a reason.

My goals for this Camp are to A: Get Lost ready for the world. B: Get Redemption ready for Beta's. (That should have been done, but though it seems this was my most favorite to write, it is by far the most difficult to edit.  And C: To get my Black  Butler fanfic finished. Yep, fanfic. I fell into it. Hard. Thanks, you sexy demon butler!

It's a lot to accomplish in a month. But I have faith in myself. I know I can do it. Because I would really like to catch one of my dreams. It will happen.

In other news, in addition to studying, I am now learning Korean. I blame Vixx for pushing ahead that goal. Vixx is a concept idol group in the K-pop world and I adore them. I am  proud to call myself a Starlight.

Their song "Voodoo Doll" has inspired a very dark and demented story in my mind that I have to keep fighting off. No more novel writing until I get Lost and Redemption ready for publication.  *determined face*

Anyone else participating in Camp Nano?

Hi!

Sorry it's been so long. I have been up to my eyeballs in editing.

I have done to my worst to Forbidden: Lost and it is now in the hands of Beta's, where hopefully, they are doing their worst.

I am on pins and needles, though so far the feedback has been positive.

It's a difficult thing, being beta'ed. You want the person reading it to be honest, even brutally, sometimes. It helps you learn as a writer, and your writing reflects the things you learn, but it is also incredibility sad. Because you really only want to hear how great it is, lol. You want that affirmation that you might just make it as a writer. That maybe your words hold merit. And seeing the comments and suggestions fill you with trepidation. The... "maybe this wasn't meant for me..."

But you push through that. Your skin gets thicker. You are able to look at your baby through the eyes of a stranger. And really, you need that. We all have 'mommy' blinders when it comes to our works. Strangers eyes see better. The distance is necessary.

But, my writer friends, we know that, right?

This might just be a pep talk for myself as I wait with held breath, for my readers to get back to me. But, I do have this for comfort.

The cover!

I am thrilled. This cover has come a long way from it's original design, but I adore this. The blue suits it better, in that it is a more bittersweet story.

Now, while readers are ripping and clawing, I need to work on the back matter.

Forbidden: Redemption is halfway edited, so, I need to start lining up readers for it as well. Things are moving now! Yay!

My Nano novel is done!

Strings is complete.
Of course, I still need to edit it. And ponder the ending. I like it. I won't lie. But it is a huge departure for my normal endings. And I shall say no more about it.

But there is this

Thank you again, A.H. Spiral, first, for being my friend and second, for my beautiful covers.
In the past, I have also posted character inspiration pictures for the people in my novels. But I can't really do that in this case. This novel was inspired by three dances from the Japanese Cosplay group, Ars Magna.

I would link the Youtube videos, but recently, Youtube has decided that since we live in the states, we don't get to watch them. Thanks Youtube! What a way to let a group reach as many people as it wants. You can still find their videos on Youtube, but they won't be official.

If you are interested, just copy and paste this ---> アルスマグナ  in the search bar. They are amazing.

Anyway, what is next?

Lots. That's what. After all, this is the year for finishing things.

Editing, so much editing.
I have a picture that I stopped painting a while back. I really need to finish it. A baby blanket that the baby is now over a year old... I know. I have a carousel horse I have been cross stitching for over a year as well.

So many half completed projects.

Including myself.

I need to get my butt out of this chair and start moving. I would like to lose some weight, become healthier. I keep starting things, but they never last for more than a couple of days. Well, I am also part of the 'year for finishing things' thing.

But, for now. Editing.
*goes off to edit*

Time. I need more of it.

Hi! 

NaNoWriMo is in the books! Well, maybe soon. (Bad pun. I know.)

 

I am not sure if I will be publishing this story or not. While it's technically not fanfic, it was very inspired by the dance group I fangirl over. So some of it probably wouldn't make sense to someone not familiar with them. I have posted a video or two that they did further down on my blog, but if anyone is interested, the name is Ars Magna. You can find them on Youtube. 

And if anyone is interested, the story can be found. Strings

I am LOVING the story. Even though I have no idea where it is going. 

And then you have the after Nano blues. The "What do I do now?" feeling. Well, you write of course! At least I am. Until this story is finished. 

A couple of friends and I are making this the year of finishing stuff. Part of my stuff is editing. After I finish Strings, I will have 5 complete novels to edit. 

It's funny, looking back over the year, I have written SIX books. Where was this when I was younger and struggling to write my name? Oh. Yeah. That was the me that was trying to write by formula. Some equation that told me I had to do this, and I must do that.  

I learned with Symphony, that there is no magical formula. There is no secret that the other writers are hiding from you. The magic is IN you. 

Symphony was written in 6 weeks. A mad spilling of words. This was a few years back. And after that time, I think I had forgotten my own secret. I somehow eeked out the sequel. To which I still have no name. AND THEN NOTHING. 

But last nano reminded me. I have my way. And I put it to use. 

Now, it's your turn. Find what works for you. Don't let other people tell you how a novel should be written. We are all different. All of out thought processes are different. For every one way of writing a book, there are dozens of different ways. For every panster, there is a plotter. For every plotter, there is an in-between. For every in-between, there is one who hops and skips and somehow manages to make it work. (I am envious. I won't lie). If something doesn't work, try another way. 

Given enough time, you will create your own world's, your own  lovable and despicable characters. Your own magic. 

Go forth with the knowledge that there is no right, no wrong. Not when it comes to writing. There is only what works for you. 

I'm late! I'm late! For a very important date!

Hello friends!

Terribly sorry for the lack of posting. Right as Nano started, something came up and I was unable to post. But that it fixed now.

And I was behind. I am still a bit behind, but I think I can catch up and get ahead tomorrow. *crossing fingers*

This Nano is exciting. I am once again writing a genre I have never written before. I also don't know what I am doing, so that helps.

How are other's Nano's going?

The last thing I need.

I don't understand the way my mind works. I really don't.

NaNoWriMo is right around the corner. I need to be finishing the book I have been working on. And while not a plotter/planner, I would like to give a tiny bit of thought to what I will be writing for Nano.

But no. I pick up a pencil and find a new hobby.
Drawing.
What in the hell brain? You KNOW I don't have time for this. My last post was about sacrifices. This is the DIRECT OPPOSITE of that!

*facepalm*

But we can't choose our passions, can we? It's why they are passions. They chose us.

I am in so much trouble.

I also want to take up candle-making...

Mmmmm, lavender...

And this is beautiful, and looks so simple...

And this isn't helping my writing at all.
Damn it.
I WILL finish Addicted. I WILL!

Nano is coming (spoken like winter is coming)

I am excited!
So excited!

But to be honest, a little bit sad as well.

I will not be giving up on my studies, but I will have to be sacrificing a lot of time with them. Writing 1667 words every day isn't exactly easy. But I will do it because I love writing more than breathing.

But I also love studying Japanese more than breathing.

Why do I have to work? If I didn't have too, then I wouldn't have to sacrifice anything.

Oh. I have to work because I like having a roof over my head and electricity. And the internet. Can't forget that.

Sacrifices.

It's only a month. I can do that. Study one hour a night. Write during all other free time. Yes. That can work. Because I want it.

What sacrifices will you be making for Nano this year?

Hi!

*blows the dust off the mic*

Is this thing on?

So, it's been a while. *blushes*

Sorry about that. I have no excuse other than I have been studying. And that is not a good one. 

I can tell you this about me. I have an addictive personality. By that, I don't mean that people become addicted to my sparkling self, I mean that I become addicted to things very easily. Obsessively so. And because there are not enough hours in the day, something has to suffer in order for me to spend the time with my obsession. Somehow, writing found itself suffering. Writing. How did that happen?

I still haven't figured that one out. 

And I find this didn't help. 

Or this...

If Loki can't make me write... 

But, I am getting better day by day. I have had two over 2K days and actually gotten to where I had to merge a scene. AND BEYOND! 

*fireworks explosions*

And it felt good. Real good. 

Maybe it's the idea that NaNoWriMo is right around the corner. Maybe it's because I had a few months break after the SLOW DOWN speed I was writing throughout the rest of the year. But I think I am getting back into it. 

I have to get this book finished. I must in order to write for NaNo.

I know the internet is a very distracting place for writers, but it has never gotten to me the way this language thing has.

Anyone else suffer from this? If so, what are some things you have done to successfully pull yourself back into the land of words?

Hello!

I am stuck in a car scene from hell.

I hate driving scenes. With a passion. You want to get me to stop writing? Give me a car scene.

I know, in this day and age, car scenes kinda need to happen, right? I mean everyone drives. But I hate them. My flowing dialogue become this twisted, stilted thing. And the action comes to a screeching halt. And my brain goes into meltdown trying to get through this, small but necessary for realism, torturous... thing... See? I can't even come up with a word to describe the... Oh, I give up.

Okay, my little rant is over.

I will get through it. I know I will. I have in the past. I just need some driving (see what I did there), heavy rock to get me through.  I will find the song, I will get my characters out of the car. I WILL get back to sexy and back to violence. Those I think I write well. But with the good, comes the bad.

What scenes do you not like writing? What devices do you employ to get through the mud?

Hey, look! I remembered!

Hey!

So, I think I am back in the swing of things.

I have reset me some realistic goals and so far have been following though on them.

One: Write 500 a day. That may not sound like much, but with my burning desire to learn Japanese, it has been a struggle to write anything at all. Given the right circumstances, I can write 500 words in less then 30 minutes. That leaves me much of the day when I am not working to edit and study.

Two: To post in the Life after Nano Forums on the Nanowrimo message board. It is full of friendly people to help motivate and inspire. I love the place!

Three: I will be updating this blog twice at week, at the VERY least. Maybe more. But no less than twice.

Four: I WILL edit for one hour every day. I have many books that need it, so, I have to find the time to do it. Writing is one thing. Being able to bring the books to light in another. Editing is part of writing and I have to be able to do it. I have make the time for it.

Five: Study! Yes! Right now, my most favorite thing in the world. But it will not pay my bills. I want to be a writer. I AM a writer. So, that HAS to come first.

Okay, on to the fun stuff. Pictures!

And again with the standard stuff. I found these on Pinterest. I have no idea where they came from. If they belong to you, let me know and I will credit you. If you want them taken down, again, let me know and I will take them down. I am easy to get along with!

These are the Character inspiration pics for Forbidden: Addicted. I am currently writing this book.

Andras
(Except his eyes are green)

And Sofiel

I have no idea who will star in the last book of the series. You will know when I do!

Bye everyone!

I keep forgetting about the title bar.

Hello!

So, I have realized something about myself that needs addressing. I have absolutely no time management skills. None. Zip. Zero.

I really need to fix that.

This is how my days have gone... for a while now, actually. Starting with work, because that is easier.

Work. Go home. IF I get on the computer right away, then I will write. Most of the time. If I can't, then I will go to the back bedroom and study. And once I start that, it's almost impossible to get me to stop. If I write, I will eventually drift off into studying. Yes, I am that passionate about this Japanese business. Write/study until the sun comes up. (I work evenings, so it's fine and I am at my most creative at night.) Sleep. wake up and either study, or make jewelry, or paint. Then work.

It's a toss up on what I am going to do on any given day. I have too many things that I enjoy doing. And am discovering more. *sigh* I love being a creative person. I love making something from nothing, or learning something from scratch.

There are simply not enough hours in the day.

So, I think what I am going to do is designate the hours before work to the hobbies. The painting, or jewelry making or crocheting. (just wait till I take up candle making... ) One hobby a day for those hours. Instead of flitting about trying to get time in for them all, set a day for one specific thing.

As for my night hours, I will make a deal with myself. Write 1K words then study all I want. That way, the writing get done for my self imposed deadlines and I get my reward. Yes, I consider studying a language a reward.

Maybe then I can get some much needed organization in my life. I need self-discipline. And while I can stand on a roof top and shout "I am creative! I don't need no stinking schedules!", in order to actually BE creative, I need time management.

Anyone else suffer from this problem? I know someone does.

Hello!

Okay, let me get this little bit out of the way first.

In order to NOT fill up this writing blog with things about my studies, I have created a Stephanie Learns Japanese blog, which, if anyone is interested in, can be found here. My Newest Obsession

Now, on the writing front.

Where I left off before my hiatus, I was posting character inspiration pics. Well, let me continue that one.

These are for Forbidden: Redemption.

While probably the most disturbing thing my mind has produced, it was also by far the most enjoyable. There is something freeing about writing a character that can do and say what ever in the hell he feels like, with no worry of consequences. I do love me some Valafar.

And without further ado, here is Valafar. These pictures came from Pinterest and I have no clue who to credit. If they belong to you, please let me know and I will give said credit. Or, if you want it/them taken down, I will make that happen as well. I do not wish to step on toes.

Okay, NOW, without further ado, Valafar

And his savior, Eloa

Psychotic Demon and the Angel of Compassion and Sorrow. 

That's all I have to say about them for now. 

And in other news, Forbidden: Broken Tradeback. I am THRILLED with this. 

My new shiny!

And I will return tomorrow for some actual writing talk. 

Have a great day!

Hey!

I find that again I must extend my apologies. It has been a while since my last post.

I fell into my newest obsession to learn Japanese and was swept away. I have to say, learning this has been one of the greatest joy's in my life. It has been a couple of months and my progress has, to be honest, astounded me.

I had always considered learning another language to be one of the hardest things to do in life. But to my complete and utter surprise, I find it to be, while yes, it IS hard, it is also fun, and I am kicking myself for only now taking the time to do it.

I know the Hiragana, or ひらがな。Also the カタカナ。Or Katakana.
I know about 120 Kanji on sight and about 50 of their Kunyomi and Onyomi readings. And let me tell you, when I finally figured out how to put two Kanji together and the reading was the word I already knew for the word, well, the light-bulb almost blew up, it burned so bright. And I know that last sentence didn't make much sense, so, I will give a brief demonstration.

The word for train, in Japanese, is densha.
Densha = でんしゃ
The Kanji for train is 電車. Okay, the TWO Kanji for train are those.
The reading for 電 is den or　でん。
The reading (in this case) for 車 is Sha or しゃ。
Hence, densha!
I saw the light. It was amazing.

Okay, now that that impromptu lesson is done, on to writing stuff.

I am participating in CampNano July this year.
It is almost over and has been the hardest struggle. I wouldn't say that I was burnt out. Bot at all. But having written almost 4 novels in less than 6 months, well, it wasn't as easy was it once was.

But I am getting there. I have 4K left for my modest goal. and I will have those finished in two days.
I HOPE to have Forbidden: Addicted complete by the end of August.

In my new goals for accountability, I will be trying to make bi-weekly posts. In my next one, I will post the character inspiration pics for Forbidden: Redemption.

See you in a few days!

As I said, today I will be posting character inspiration photo's for Lost.

Again, I have no idea who to credit for these images. If they are your creation, please let me know, and I will credit you. If you would like for me to take them down, again, I will. Just let me know!

And here we go.

Vangelis

Batibat

There we go!

I am going to try to edit the first three chapters of Forbidden: Lost and have them posted on my site tonight. 

I do have to admit to a slight obsession that has been keeping me from writing.

These boys have ruined my world...

Such timing, such FUN! 

Anyway, this is the first of a long list of to-do's today. Will post again if I get the chapters up!

Have a great day!

So, it has been a few days.

In my defence, I have been busy.

Six chapters edited for Heart of the Sun. Based on comments from a beta reader, I need to work on my horse scenes. That is not a problem. And I am slowly working on it.

I have uploaded Forbidden: Broken to Smashwords right here. And to Amazon.

And I have started on Forbidden: Addicted, though that was not supposed to be next.

Damn books have a mind of their own.

Anyway, there is something I wanted to do.

I wanted to post pictures of the inspiration for my characters. I have no idea who made these, or I would give credit. If it was you, let me know, and I will give credit. If you would like for me to take these down, I will do that as well. I am not trying to step on toes.

I don't know how large they will turn out, but here goes nothing.

First is Elathan

Next is Sitri

And lastly, Irin

These are my characters from Broken. Tomorrow, I will post pictures of Vangelis and Batibat. They star in Forbidden: Lost

And that is all for today, folks!

Have a great day!

Hi!

So, yesterday, I managed to get a whole chapter of Heart of the Sun edited. It should have been a lot more, but I was working on my website. Which has been as sadly neglected as this blog. But having recovered passwords, well, I have been busy updating everything. 

My Web address is under my profile, but I will just throw it out here as well.

My Home

Some of the buttons do not work on purpose. They are in anticipation of books I have either just completed or have yet to write. Seeing them kind of helps keep me accountable. Maybe it will help keep me from procrastinating TOO much.

I vow to edit at least two more chapters after work tonight. That is, if I survive work. It is Mother's Day, after all. 

Now that I think about it, the editing might have to wait til tomorrow. 

My future plans, now that I have updated everything, is to complete editing HotS and to write Heart of the Moon. That last one might be a struggle. Not because I don't want to. I DO! It's simply that I can't quite get out of the Forbidden world. It's tough because they are so different.

My Heart trilogy is elves and dwarves. Not anything remotely Tolkin, (I can only dream about writing like that) however, very much inspired by character(s) from The Hobbit.

My Forbidden series is angles and demons, dark and sexy, and bloody. Violent. And so much fun to write!

Anyway, I will update tomorrow and tell how the editing goes.

Ciao!